...the demise of the chosen one...

1:32PM - can you guess?

We chase misprinted lies
We face the path of time
And yet I fight, and yet I fight
This battle all alone
No one to cry to
No place to call home

My gift of self is raped
My privacy is raked
And yet I find, yet I find
Repeating in my head
If I can't be my own
I'd feel better dead

Current mood: awake

Current music: The Red Chord - He Was Dead When I Got There

3:51PM - beauty hidden within self-tainted hatred

i sit here and endure the previous night's drunken haze...looking forward...or am i just looking in reverse? is it all mind over matter or is it the facts of gravitation that has kept me grounded...a loss of such beautiful words can destroy a soul...event though a soul is tender and needs to be cared for gently...it must take some battering and cruelty for it to crumble underneath all the pressure...taking me sometime thinking all to myself...getting lost within my maze-crazed mind frame...is what has led me to understand what i must do...i ask you now if you would sit on the horizon lit beach with me and watch the days melt away right before our very eyes...we can watch the cities burn and the palaces collapse...as i glide through the confusion of such feeble frail words i shall ask for your helping hand in my acts of lustful and loveable carnage...

Current mood: creative

Current music: metallica - wiplash

4:07PM - album of the week...sorry i've been behind on this haha!

Artist: Alice In Chains
Album: Dirt
Year: 1992

Them bones

I believe them bones are me, some say we're born into the grave, I feel so alone, gonna end up a, big ole pile a them bones, dust rise right on over my time, empty fossil of the new scene, I feel so alone, gonna end up a, big ole pile a them bones, toll due bad dream come true, I lie dead gone under red sky, I feel so alone, gonna end up a, Big ole pile a them, I feel so alone, gonna end up a, big ole pile a them, I feel so alone, gonna end up a, big ole pile a them bones...

Dam that river

I broke you in the canyon, I drowned you in the lake, you a snake that I would trample, only thing I'd not embrace, oh, you couldn't dam that river, and maybe I don't give a damn anyway, so you couldn't dam that river, and it washed me so far away, I pushed and then you stumbled, I kicked you in the face, you stare at me so hollow, got to keep that killin' pace, oh, you couldn't dam that river, and maybe I don't give a damn anyway, so you couldn't dam that river, and it washed me so far away, I burned the place around you, I hit you with a rake, you piss upon my candle, so proving you're a fake, oh, you couldn't dam that river, and maybe I don't give a damn anyway, so you couldn't dam that river, and it washed me so far away...

Rain when I die

Is she ready to know my frustration, what she slippin' inside, slow castration, I'm a riddle so strong, you can't break me, did she come here to try, try to take me, did she call my name, I think it's gonna rain, when I die, was it something I said, held against me, ain't no life on the run, slowly climbing, caught in ice so she stares, stares at nothing, I can help her but won't, now she hates me, did she call my name, I think it's gonna rain, when I die, she won't let me hide, she don't want me to cry, will she keep on the ground, trying to ground me, slowly forgive my lie, lying to save me, could she love me again, or will she hate me, prob'ly not, I know why, can't explain me, did she call my name?, I think it's gonna rain, when I die...

Sickman

What the hell am I, thousand eyes, a fly, lucky then I'd be, in one day deceased, sickman, sickman, sickman, sickman, I can feel the wheel, but I can't steer, when my thoughts become my biggest fear, ahh, what's the difference, I'll die, ahh, In this sick world of mine, what the hell am I, leper from inside, inside wall of peace, dirty and diseased, sickman, sickman, sickman, sickman, I can see the end is getting near, I won't rest until my head is clear, ahh, what's the difference, I'll die, ahh, In this sick world of mine, can you see the end, choke on me my friend, must to drown these thoughts, purity over rot, what the hell am I worn eroded pride, saddened 10 mile wide, I'm gonna let it slide, sickman, sickman, sickman, sickman, I can feel the wheel, but I can't steer, when my thoughts become my biggest fear, ahh, what's the difference, I'll die, ahh, In this sick world of mine, ahh, ahh, ahh, ahh...

Rooster

Ain't found a way to kill me yet, eyes burn with stinging sweat, seems every path leads me to nowhere, wife and kids household pet, army green was no safe bet, the bullets scream to me from somewhere, yeah, they come to snuff the rooster, yeah, here come the rooster, you know he ain't gonna die, yeah, they come to snuff the rooster, yeah, here come the rooster yeah, you know he ain't gonna die, walkin' tall machine gun man, they spit on me in my home land, gloria sent me pictures of my boy, got my pills 'gainst mosquito death,
my buddy's breathin' his dyin' breath, oh god please won't you help me make it through, here they come to snuff the rooster, yeah, here come the rooster yeah, you know he ain't gonna die, no, you know he ain't gonna die...

Junkhead

A good night, the best in a long time, a new friend turned me on to an old favorite, nothing better than a dealer who's high, be high, convince them to buy, what's my drug of choice, well, what have you got, i don't go broke, and I do it a lot, seems so sick to the hypocrite norm, running their boring drills, but we are an elite race of our own, the stoners, junkies, and freaks, are you happy, I am, man, content and fully aware, money, status, nothing to me, cause your life is empty and bare, what's my drug of choice, well, what have you got, i don't go broke, and I do it a lot, you can't understand a user's mind, but try, with your books and degrees, if you let yourself go and opened your mind, I'll bet you'd be doing like me, and it ain't so bad, what's my drug of choice, well, what have you got, I don't go broke, and I do it a lot, say, I do it a lot, I do it a lot, I do it a lot, say, I do it a lot...

Dirt

I have never felt such frustration, or lack of self control, I want you to kill me, and dig me under, I wanna live no more, one who doesn't care is one who shouldn't be, I've tried to hide myself from what is wrong for me, for me, I want to taste dirty, a stinging pistol, in my mouth, on my tongue, I want you to scrape me from the walls, and go crazy like you've made me, one who doesn't care is one who shouldn't be, I've tried to hide myself from what is wrong for me, one who doesn't care is one who shouldn't be, I've tried to hide myself from what is wrong for me, for me, you, you are so special, you have the talent to, make me feel like dirt, and you, you use your, talent to dig me under, and cover me with dirt, one who doesn't care is one who shouldn't be, I've tried to hide myself from what is wrong for me, one who doesn't care is one who shouldn't be, I've tried to hide myself from what is wrong for me...

God smack

Care not for the men who wonder, straw that broke your back, you're under, cast all them aside who care, empty eyes and dead end stare, don't you know that none are blind, to the lie, and you think I don't find what you hide, what in God's name have you done, stick your arm for some real fun, for the horse you've grown much fonder, than for me, that I don't ponder, as the hair of one who bit you, smiling bite your own self, too, and I think that you're not blind, to the ones you left behind, I'll be here, what in God's name have you done, stick your arm for some real fun, so be yearning all your life, twisting, turning like a knife, now you know the reasons why, can't get high, or you will die, or you'll die, what in God's name have you done, stick your arm for some real fun, so your sickness weighs a ton, and God's name is smack for some, yeah...

Hate to feel

What's gone wrong, I can't see straight, been too long, so full of hate, what the fuck will it take, drown myself in my wake, another shaggy D.A., now a dog, shake my leg, plastic man, paper face, candy heart, what a waste, gotta change, set a date, eat my cake, with my plate, stare at me with empty eyes and point your words at me, mirror on the wall will show you what you're scared to see, I can see,(wish I couldn't see at all), I can feel(wish I couldn't feel at all), hate to see(wish I couldn't see at all), hate to feel(wish I couldn't feel at all), so climb the walls, thin my blood now, and I crawl, back to bed now, what the hell, gotta rest, aching pain in my chest,
lucky me, now I'm set, little bug for a pet, new orleans, gotta get, pin cushion medicine, used to be curious, now the shit's sustenance, all this time I swore I'd never be like my old man, what the hay it's time to face exactly what I am, I can see,(wish I couldn't see at all), I can feel(wish I couldn't feel at all), hate to see(wish I couldn't see at all), hate to feel(wish I couldn't feel at all), what the hell, gotta rest, aching pain in my chest, lucky me, now I'm set, little bug for a pet, New Orleans, gotta get, pin cushion medicine, used to be curious, now the shit's sustenance, all this time I swore I'd never be like my old man, what the hay it's time to face exactly what I am, I can see,(wish I couldn't see at all), I can feel(wish I couldn't feel at all), hate to see(wish I couldn't see at all), hate to feel(wish I couldn't feel at all), I can see(wish I couldn't see at all), I can feel(wish I couldn't feel at all), hate to see(wish I couldn't see at all),
hate to feel(wish I couldn't feel at all)...

Angry chair

Sitting on an angry chair, angry walls that steal the air, stomach hurts and I don't care, what do I see across the way, see myself molded in clay, stares at me, yeah I'm afraid, changing the shape of his face, candles red I have a pair, shadows dancing everywhere, burning on the angry chair, little boy made a mistake, pink cloud has now turned to gray, all that I want is to play, get on your knees, time to pray, boy, I don't mind, yeah, I don't mind, I don't mind, yeah, I don't mind, lost my mind, yeah, but I don't mind, can't find it anywhere, I don't mind, corporate prison, we stay, I'm a dull boy, work all day, so I'm strung out anyway, loneliness is not a phase, field of pain is where I graze, serenity is far away, saw my reflection and cried, so little hope that I died, feed me your lies, open wide, weight of my heart, not the size, I don't mind, yeah, I don't mind, I don't mind, yeah, I don't mind, lost my mind, yeah, but I don't mind, can't find it anywhere, I don't mind, pink cloud has now turned to gray, all that I want is to play, gt on your knees time to pray, boy...

Down in a hole

Bury me softly in this womb, I give this part of me for you, snd rains down and here I sit, holding rare flowers in a tomb, in bloom, down in a hole and I don't know if I can be saved, see my heart I decorate it like a grave, you don't understand who they thought I was supposed to be, look at me now a man who won't let himself be, down in a hole, feeling so small, down in a hole, losin' my soul, I'd like to fly, but my wings have been so denied, down in a hole and they've put all the stones in their place, I've eaten the sun so my tongue has been burned of the taste, I have been guilty of kicking myself in the teeth, I will speak no more of my feelings beneath, down in a hole, feeling so small, down in a hole, losin' my soul, I'd like to fly, but my wings have been so denied, bury me softly in this womb(Oh I want to be inside of you), I give this part of me for you(Oh I want to be inside of you), sand rains down and here I sit(Oh I want to be inside of you), holding rare flowers in a tomb, in bloom(Oh I want to be inside), down in a hole, feelin' so small, down in a hole, losin' my soul, down in a hole, feelin' so small, down in a hole, out of control, I'd like to fly, but my wings have been so denied...

Would?

Know me broken by my master, teach thee on child of love hereafter, into the flood again, same old trip it was back then, so I made a big mistake, ty to see it once my way, difting body it's sole desertion, fying not yet quite the notion, into the flood again, some old trip it was back then, so I made a big mistake, try to see it once my way, into the flood again, same old trip it was back then, so I made a big mistake, try to see it once my way, am I wrong,
have I run too far to get home, have I gone, and left you here alone, am I wrong, have I run too far to get home, have I gone, and left you here alone, if I would, could you...

4:59PM - ...i've...

...fallen deep into my feelings for the hour, just giving myself time to think, and here i am stuck, stuck with my feelings flirting with the irritation of my stomach, nauseated by the smells, sites, locations, depths, of all the lil loop holes in the format of america, are we all blind? are we all that dumb? when we open our eyes and shut our ears, then and only then shall we all be able to roam and not tip-toe over the leaves and brush in our lives...

Current mood: annoyed

2:52PM - -sighs-

lj will let me do anything i want except upload my new pic...no matter how i try it just won't work :/ *shakes fist* if anyone actually reads my damn random non-sense typings on here...HELP ME!

3:31AM - NEW! album lyrics of the week...

doesn't get much more metal than this...if you like metal from the era of Iron Maiden but tweeked out...faster, louder...then check these guys out 3 albums out that i know off...


Band: Dragonforce
Album: Valley Of The Damned
Year: 2003

1. Invocation Of Apocalyptic Evil
[Instrumental]


2. Valley Of The Damned

On a cold dark winter night hidden by the stormy light, a battle rages for the right for what will become, in the valley of the damned a warrior with sword in hand, travels fast across the land for freedom he rides, and the sign from the master on high screams aloud and across hear the cry, for the kingdom of fire and ice and the power to be alive, be strong ride on, carry on through the war, come along carry on, living for ever more, on the wings of death by the hands of doom, by the darkest light from the darkest moon, crossing silent seas over mountains high, for we stand as one tonight, on the black wind forever we ride on together, destroying your evil with freedom our guide, when the master will storm us, he'll stand high before us, our hearts filled with splendour, our swords will shine over the light, in the valley of the damned, days breaks with golden strand, over pastures green it glows, to where night returns, in the shadows faces appear, warriors wearing full metal gear, all join together one and all, before the glorious light, rise up, gather around, come and hear what is said, use your senses open your mind, don't you ever forget, o the wings of life, by the hands of hope, by the brightest light from the brightest sun, crossing silent seas over mountains high, to the valley of the damned, on the black wind forever we ride on together, destroying your evil with freedom our guide, when the master will storm us, he'll stand high before us, our hearts filled with splendour, our swords will shine over the light, on the black wind forever we ride on together, destroying your evil with freedom our guide, when the master will storm us, he'll stand high before us, our hearts filled with splendour, our swords will shine over the light, the black wind forever we ride on together,
destroying your evil with freedom our guide, when the master will storm us, he'll stand high before us, our hearts filled with splendour, our swords will shine over the light, the black...

3. Black Fire

We come from, over the dark horizon sky, with twisted tales of sacrifice, to imagine or believe all the glory of the free, hunting all day an endless cry,
the things I've seen I can't deny, sinners, saints all mixed in one, the dawn of time has begun, why can't you see what they're doing to me, is it fair that I'm dying in vain, once in a land of sacrifice now only valleys of demise, shadows of a pale blue moonlight ride the waves of entity, qhy can't you see what they're doing to thee, is it fair that you all die in vain, ride with the steel and the power of the sword, stand up and fight now and forever more, rise through the night sky with daylight's desire, to be free there must be black fire, through the day and through the night with dragons heart the warrior strikes, this is the day that they'll be known as my enemy, why can't you see what they're doing, to what we believe in we rise through the pain, ride with the steel and the power of the sword, stand up and fight now and forever more, rise through the night sky with daylight's desire, to be free there must be black fire, we come from distant lands we travel so far, can you see the bleeding scar, the prizes of life we fail to win, cause we doubt the power within, why can't you see what they're doing to, what we believe in we rise through the pain, ride with the steel and the power of the sword, stand up and fight now and forever more, rise through the night sky with daylight's desire, to be free there must be black fire, black fire...

4. Black Winter Night

Day after day as I bodies slay, and the sun becomes dark in the sky, everything's lost for this human race, snd the dawn of a new age will rise, rays of sunlight now are gone, only visions of ice will remain, the fallen ones and forgotten souls, will rise up over the slain, no more hope as we raise our hands to the sky, no more dreams as the rivers run dry, everything's lost all is left astray, only sorrow and sadness remains, curtains have dropped on our fallen world, and the forces of darkness shall rise, why can't you see what has happened to thee, can you not open your eyes,
everything's lost there is no retreat, and the valleys echo with pain, no more hope as we raise our hands to the sky, no more dreams as the rivers run dry, on the endless sea of madness we sail forever more, and the endless tears of sadness towards the distant shores, when the flame has died forever we stand one and all, with the power of the almighty sword, we fight the battle on the fields tonight, to save us from the master of all evil sign,
and to the battle on forever standing strong, we feel the fire power of the night warriors, no more tomorrow, dying of sorrow, over the mountains and up through the trees, traveling across seven seas, no more hope as we hold our hands to the sky, no more dreams as the rivers run dry, on the endless seas of madness we sail forever more, and the endless tears of sadness towards the distant shores, when the flame has died forever we stand one and all, with the power of the almighty sword, we fight the battle on the fields tonight, to save us from the master of all evil sign, and to the battle on forever standing strong, we feel the fire power of the night warriors, on the endless seas of madness we sail forever more, and the endless tears of sadness towards the distant shores, when the flame has died forever we stand one and all, with the power of the almighty sword, we'll fight the battle on the fields tonight, to save us from the master of all, we fight the battle on the fields tonight, to save us from the master of all evil sign, and to the battle on, forever standing strong, we feel the fire, power of the night warriors, the power of the night warriors...

5. Starfire

Outside on a winter's night as the rain begins to fall, there's a chill in the air and the howl of a wolf while the rain beats at the door, seven kings will ride on the wind up towards the mountains high, and the only sound that will break the air is the warrior's bitter cry, when the dawn of a new day will see the light then the strongest hearts grow old, and the warrior stands on top of the hill in the snow, dark night with a glimmering light in the distance up ahead, in the forest they dwell with a misty spell no one heard what once was said, and the eagle fly through the clouds while earth bleeds dark and cold, when the voices of men will ring out again all creation shall unfold, when the colour of night will fade to light and the weakest hearts go cold, and the warrior stands on top of the hill in the snow, and we're standing one and all fighting till we fall, hoping for a better day never giving in, until we find the words till we find the words to say, until we find the words to say, burning starfire shine in the sky, for the lives of great men who stand by your side, when the night fall on we will ride, for no lost souls will live on forever, dark night on the valley below still the horsemen follow through, it's a forest that leads to the foot of the hill that inside the magic holds, seven strong they ride on along to the place where sorrow lies, and the shadows of the night will no longer hide all their mysteries come undone, when the colour of night will fade to light and the weakest hearts go cold, and the warrior stands on top of the hill in the snow, and we're standing one and all fighting till we fall, hoping for a better day never giving in, until we find the words till we find the words to say, until we find the words to say, burning starfire shine in the sky
For the lives of great men who stand by your side, when the night fall on we will ride, for no lost souls will live on forever, and we're standing one and all fighting till we fall, hoping for a better day never giving in, until we find the words till we find the words to say, until we find the words to say,
burning starfire shine in the sky, for the lives of great men who stand by your side, when the night fall on we will ride, for no lost souls will live on forever, for lost souls will live on forever...

6. Disciples Of Babylon

Can you imagine that it's all up to you, evil embrace of powers unnatural, you're left in silence nothing more to behold, you close your eyes and visualize the day you'll get away, it's here, it's near, i see it all so clear, tonight your flight will take you higher, it's here, it's near, you live a life of fear, tonight is the night that will inspire, crying alone at night your destiny unknown, you're every being full of rage and hate, seems like you're running but you just can not hide, it's in a raging fear all solitude is left behind, it's here, it's near, i see it all so clear, tonight your flight will take you higher, it's here, it's near, you live a life of fear, tonight is the night that will inspire, can he comfort thee and fill your life with ecstasy, through the darkness and the pain, will you be the ones again, disciples of babylon, it's here, it's near, i see it all so clear, tonight your flight will take you higher, it's here, it's near, you live a life of fear, tonight is the night that will inspire, can he comfort thee and fill your life with ecstasy, through the darkness and the pain
Will you be the ones again, disciples of babylon, it's here, it's near, i see it all so clear, tonight your flight will take you higher, it's here, it's near, you live a life of fear, tonight is the night that will inspire, can he comfort thee and fill your life with ecstasy, through the darkness and the pain, will you be the ones again, disciples of babylon...

7. Revelations

Coming down the mountain on high, towards the battle we go side by side, our hearts are filled with honour and pride, cause we know our time has come, silent voices down from below, rising up through the ice and the snow, ancient angers cast upon all, through the land of the slain, through the dark night through the rain, fighting machine we are risen again, striving forever more, we will survive, stand and fight join the light, into the battle with power and might, sound the guns, raise the cannons of war, with the north star to guide us we ride on the sky, blazing up through the heavens like eagles we fly, and the horsemen shall come they will judge all your lives, revelations will now be unveiled, darkened night set to swallow the light, all is lost there's no one left to fight, overpowered by the glory and might,
of the ones who stand tall, fallen heroes scattered around, deafened ears opens up to the sound, painful cries rising forever more, through the victims of life and of war, through the dark night through the rain, fighting machine we are risen again, striving forever more, we will survive, stand and fight join the light, into the battle with power and might, sound the guns, raise the cannons of war, with the north star to guide us we ride on the sky, blazing up through the heavens like eagles we fly, and the horsemen shall come they will judge all your lives, revelations will now be unveiled, no more hope of freedom, our dreams are washed away, the second age is coming,
it's the dawn of a new day, judgement stands before us, the second king will rise, our swords will shine with honour, hatred fills the sky, hatred fills the sky, with the north star to guide us we ride on the sky, blazing up through the heavens like eagles we fly, and the horsemen shall come they will judge all your lives, revelations will now be, with the north star to guide us we ride on the sky, blazing up through the heavens like eagles we fly, and the horsemen shall come they will judge all your lives, revelations will now,
revelations will now, revelations will now be unveiled...

8. Evening Star

We will sail on, forever on to the land of the evening star

Into the endless we ride unveil the darkness behind
Abandoned glory hidden castaway we ride
Now will the sky surrender forever through the never
A silent whisper echoes through my restless heart tonight

I will see the glory rise
We'll be one tonight
Don't you shut your eyes in silence
Tonight gather near, come and live your fear

In a land of desire your heart filled with fire
You live for the right to be free

We will sail on, forever on to the land of the evening star, in a land of desire your heart filled with fire, the land of the evening star, now and forever after, asylums filled with laughter, suspicion haunts my dreams, an echo through my mind, this starlit gaze reminds me, are you so blind you can't see, the winds of change my friend, will blow for you in the dead night, i will see glory rise, we'll be one tonight, don't you shut your eyes in silence, tonight gather near, come and live your fear, in a land of desire your heart filled with fire, you live for the right to be free, we will sail on, forever on to the land of the evening star, in a land of desire your heart filled with fire, the land of the evening star, in a land of desire your heart filled with fire, you live for the right to be free, we will sail on, forever on to the land of the evening star, in a land of desire your heart filled with fire, he land of the evening star...

9. Heart Of The Dragon

Proud and so glorious standing before of us, our swords will shine bright in the sky, when united we come to the land of the sun, with the heart of a dragon we ride, we are flying on wings in winter sky with fire burning deep inside, we are warriors of endless time forever and on, on wings of steel an ancient flight we see the powers that unite, the gods will now send us a sign of battle once more, through the valley we ride full of glory we soar, where the fights will be raging for now and for more, when united we come and divided they fall, tonight you will witness it all, proud and so glorious standing before of us, our swords will shine bright in the sky, when united we come to the land of the sun, with the heart of a dragon we ride, a land unknown we come so far, we ride the night till morning star, when colours fade to black and white, your eyes come to sight, with the vision of a great divide, you turn towards the other side, you think you run but you can't hide, yhe dead can not ride, through the valley we ride full of glory we soar, where the fights will be raging for now and for more, when united we come and divided they fall, tonight you will witness it all, proud and so glorious standing before of us, our swords will shine bright in the sky, when united we come to the land of the sun, with the heart of a dragon we ride, over high seas and mountains, we fly to the heavens on wings of a dragon tonight, proud and so glorious standing before of us, our swords will shine bright in the sky, proud and so glorious standing before of us, our swords will shine bright in the sky, when united we come to the land of the sun, with the heart of a dragon, the heart of a dragon, the heart of a dragon we ride...

10. Where Dragons Rule
[Bonus Track]

Full the moon and midnight sky, through the dark they ride, warriors of forever will sacrifice the night, one for all and all for one, the future time has come, faces filled with torment, your heart beats like a drum, nver will you look back again, yu'll fight on 'til the end, together we will live on forever more, in this land we have defended from all things dark and cruel, now we are defenseless in a land where dragons rule, in this land we have defended from all things dark and cruel, now we are defenseless in a land where dragons rule, glash of steel in the mid-day sun, the battle has begun, blood spills all around us but still we carry on, no mercy we will show to them, the white flag shall be raised, we'll fight for our freedom, ride towards this evil place, we all stand until the end allegiance to this game, in this land we've defended from all things dark and cruel, now we're defenseless in a land where dragons rule, in this land we've defended from all things dark and cruel, now we're defenseless in a land where dragons rule, sun set in the western sky, the battle's almost done, the victory will be glorious, our enemies are gone, we all stand until the end allegiance to this game, in this land we've defended from all things dark and cruel, now we're defenseless in a land where dragons rule, in this land we've defended from all things dark and cruel, now we're defenseless in a land where dragons rule, in this land we've defended from all things dark and cruel, now we're defenseless in a land where dragons rule...

Current mood: awake

Current music: alice in chains - down in a hole

4:11AM - ...and death shall come to you in many forms...

this is the soundtrack to your demise you ignorant, selfish, self-centered, waste of human flesh, fuck!

Artist: Glass Casket
Album: "We Are Gathered Here Today"
Year: 2004

Pencil Lead Syringe

Everything that comes out of your mouth is amazing, see your pale face passing over, over again, i'm sorry you're dead, bite the curb, snap, you should have loved me, oops, it's too late and now your mouth is big enough to suck mine and his necks, i never met a tent spike i would like to put in your stomach, i'm smiling at you now and does it make anything different, you are so beautiful now, peaceful and calm, when your back snaps think of me, i'm sorry you're dead

And So It Was Said

Pictures don't speak, and so it was said, so break this frame and let the glass drip down your face, all I can do is look, don't touch, so open your mouth and let your words pour free like mine, teach me your music, show me how to break your wrists on the grounds of a girl breaking your heart, does this make sense, but it works better, make your face shine through these shades of black and white and make your words lift off the page and scream,
i will clailm this day all my own, no one else, all my own selfish needs

Fisted And Forgotten

Place those eyes that burn on my lap, i can't grit my teeth without you, do you believe me, let me breath, i will never throw that place away, never stop hitting the ground, pound your fists into the ground, is it better than the beat being torn from your heart, try to breath, near the tick tock making me sweat, blood starts to clog my pores, how do you like it

Fearfully And Wonderfully Made

In me lies no fear, nothing else can make me still, so i'm calling on you now to lend me the strength, i need to wake up again, slaughter my anything and my everything, make the oncoming traffic be the end of me, don't let me wake up again

Cellar Door

(Instrumental)

Chew Your Fingers

Pick the solitude that creates this cage, does the gray ever tire, does it ever feel pain, i want to see color again, what is this development, does it make things right again, can't you see I'll pay, make my fulfillment drop, try to take this from me, i slipped, remember your gender

Scarlet Pain And Gasoline

I remember this feeling coming over me, seeing the back of your car for the
last time, it felt great, i felt the shutter of your engine opening a gray world, i saw the back of your car, i'll scream to the top of this town, i'll cry to the end of this water, when do pleasant dreams arrive, when there is nothing left dreaming for, don't become that nightmare, i can't take this anymore, i can't take this scarlet paint and gasoline

In Between The Sheets

And this is where i stay, in between the in between, no more cold winter days,
no more sudden tragedies, if you really want to know me take away the human heart and stab it with something not so sharp, twist like her finger in my hair she's got a brand new white canvas on her face for me to splatter with paint, she's got nothing more than what was left running down her throat, the best of us was left in your sheets, restoring things here in between defining what everything means to me, the truth's sometimes so hard to see, in my passive uncertainty, it's a chorus with no melody, she's got a brand new white canvas on her face, the best of us was left in your sheets

A Gray A.M. You Will Never Get To See

And when your golden curls have turned to red, when your eyes have lost all their light find strength in my life, enough white to kindle a massacre of poems, at least tremble enough that i may flame in your green array, all these years, the battle of each grievous day, perhaps then those beautiful tears will overcome, i almost wrecked this morning in about the same place my mother called me the day she found out, i hydroplaned going about 42 miles per hour, i wasn't scared or anything it was very strange, i had a moment in time and space, all to myself to think, to die then would mean to be with my sister, but if i had then i would have, missed out on this dream i've had for so long, it just goes to show what a girl like Erin with an enormous heart and a talent to make the world smile could have done if she was still alive, it sounds strange, but Erin couldn't have lived out her dreams on earth, so
now i must make it a point, so now it's my job to live them out for her and let the world know what a wonderful person it will never get to meet

Current mood: awake

Current music: Glass Casket - Pencil Lead Syringe

11:39PM - I FUCKING HATE!!!

I HATE DAMN NEAR EVERYTHING IN MY LIFE RIGHT NOW!!!
I HATE THAT I HAVE NO LIFE!!!
I HATE THAT I AM SITTING IN THIS FUCKING HOUSE ALONE ONCE AGAIN ALL NIGHT!!!
I HATE IT HOW I HAVE SLEEPLESS NIGHTS!
I HATE THAT I HATE MYSELF AND A LOT ABOUT ME SO MUCH!!!
I HATE THAT I HAVE NO ONE TO VENT TO IN PERSON SO I HAVE TO TYPE IT OVER THE INTERNET!!!
I HATE, THAT I HATE, THAT I HATE!!!

9:51AM - ...funny too cuz' i've always been intrigued and curious about bondage

You scored as A Slave To BDSM. Admit it, you like being tied up and being told you've been very naughty. You like teasing your partner and making them squirm, and not letting them be able to do anything about it. Some people think what you do is sick and disgusting, but you know it's all in good fun. </td> A Slave To BDSM 98% A Romantic 80% Sex God 78% Virgin 48% How are you in bed created with QuizFarm.com

Current mood: horny

Current music: some lame ol' movie in background

9:48AM - ...too funny but yet oddly enuff damn near me when it comes to sex...HAHA!

Horny mind [ Sex mind: 69% Selfishness: 34% ]

MIND score: HORNY Sex makes you feel good, real good. It's one of the best thing in your life and you want to have it regularly and fulfil some fantasies, it doesn't mean you'd try anything with anyone, but if you find the right person(s), you might want to dedicate a lot of time just to this intense physical pleasure and to a variety of sexual games. SELF score: you & me (no sign) This is the average result, by far the most common. If we're not too wrong, this means you are fully aware sex is not a one-sided activity and though you are looking for your own satisfaction, you never forget to please your partner. The lower your score, the more you care about your partner's pleasure, the higher, the more important your own pleasure.

Current mood: horny

Current music: some lame ol' movie in background

7:03AM - "Bowl Of Oranges"

thanx kiiaby for puttin gme in the mood to listen to some good ol' Bright Eyes...*smiles*

"The rain it started tapping on the window near my bed, there was a loophole in my dreaming, so i got out of it, and to my surprise my eyes were wide and already open, just my nightstand and my dresser where those nightmares had just been, so I dressed myself and left then, out into the gray streets, but everything seemed different and completely new to me, the sky, the trees, houses, buildings, even my own body, and each person I encountered I couldn't wait to meet, I came upon a doctor who appeared in quite poor health, I said, I am terribly sorry but there is nothing I can do for you that you can't do for yourself, he said oh yes you can, just hold my hand, I think that would help, and so I sat with him awhile and then asked him how he felt, he said I think I'm cured, No, in fact I'm sure of it, thank you strangr for your therapeutic smile, so that is how I learned the lesson that everyone is alone, and your eyes must do some raining if you are ever going to grow, but when crying don't help and you can't compose yourself, it is best to compose a poem, and honest verse of longing or a simple song of hope, that is why I'm singing, baby don't worry cause now I got your back, and every time you feel like crying, I'm gonna try and make you laugh, and if I can't, if it hurts too bad, then we will wait for it to pass and I will keep you company through those days so long and black, and we'll just keep working on the problem we know we'll never solve of love's uneven remainders, our lives are fractions of a whole, but if the world could remain within a frame like a painting on a wall, then I think we would see the beauty, the we would stand staring in awe at our still lives posed like a bowl of oranges, like a story told by the fault lines and soil"

I love the way Todd Baechle(I think that's his name)writes his lyrics...just plain, bold, simple, yet will touch you deeper than watching the whoel Roots Trilogoy! I'm not big into whining music at all but man just something about these fuckers that do it to me everytime...not to mention they have like 4-5 cd's here for only 7-10 bux! once again THANK YOU kiiaby for putting me into the mood to listen to these guys :)

Current mood: awake

Current music: Bright Eyes - Don't Know When But A Day Is Gonna Come

5:33AM - sorry don't know how to do a lj cut if any knows how/wants to explain to me then feel free PLEASE!!!

6 different crew vocal pics from Saturdays show while my boys in Blood In/Blood Out tore it up!!! It's just too sad that the lame ass cops had to show up and shut it down for no reason!!!






THIS IS FUCKING OURS! THIS FIGHT WE FOUGHT! AND WE WON'T GIVE IN!

Current mood: awake

Current music: news in the background

8:04AM - hrmmmmmmm bitch! i'm lost once again

does anyone know what any of these fucking words mean, their origin, and how to pronounce them haha...they are song titles to a band called Between The Buried And Me...i love these guys but don't know what half their fucking song title mean!

Mordecai

Ad A Dglgmut

if anyone does and can help me out in any way shape or form thank you...i have looked all over the net but then again other than the website addy's i already know i'm pretty computer dumb!

Current mood: awake

Current music: Between The Buried And Me - Ad A Dglgmut

1:17AM - ...saints we all are not...

...even though i know no one ever reads what i post weather it is on here or on myspace or whatever but it helps me vent...why must we as humans prey on the weaker, make fun of the little people, the people barely skimming by in life...i mean this is a very crude and dark world we live in now-a-days...instead of helping the old lady across the street; we(in general)try to hit the old lady with our vehicle(metaphorically speaking)...people are living too fast and care free...too wrapped up in our own lives...now just imagine if everyone stopped for 1 minute out of their life just to turn and say hello to a complete stranger with a smile so big on our face that we would be to afraid to take it off in fear that our better inner being would slowly fade and wither away...

Current mood: awake

Current music: Dead To Fall - Doomed To Failure

1:47PM - oh jesus this means i'm smart...please no one let this get out and about!!!

Current mood: awake

Current music: people sniffling, walking, coughing, ya know the usual!

12:57PM - FUCK OFF!

So what the hell is going on with the world man...people are dying while the rich keep stuffing their face with senseless bullshit...while the average joe smoe like me try's and fights so hard in life but none of it seems to equal up to a damn thing! i mean when i ask for just a little part of my foot to get in the door i'm not asking for anyone to start and die in WWIII for me! All i want is this damn job and i don't think that is gonna happen! grr gotta love being pissed off and at the library so you can't even scream about it!

Current mood: aggravated

Current music: library so nothing

1:23PM - blah blah blah

so i finally got a new account on here. and i have decided to post on here like every other sad individual in the world. not too much has been going on with me...i'm still breathing and kicking. lost my job but have a chance to get a WAY better one...i shall find out Mon. at 8:30 in the a.m. fuck it...my old man got married AGAIN but it's kool his wife is a sweetheart. that's bout it for now!

Current mood: awake

Current music: people talking - i'm at library